Love Ourselves

Hi Everyone,

First of all, my apologies for not keeping you in the loop regarding my blogger name change. It seems it's going to take longer than expected. Secondly, this is a post about mental health which, doesn't have anything to do with fashion or beauty. Thirdly, sorry.

However, this is a topic that has been consistently in the public eye and needs as much support as possible. Most of us may know someone, have supported or been at the forefront of an episode or victim of 'bad' thoughts. The thoughts that tell us we can't do something, we will never achieve success, we will always be stuck with the life that we lead or we say no to opportunities that come our way, based on fear or the fact we aren't good enough.   

These 5 powerful words, can't, never, stuck, fear and aren't. Can invade our minds and become stop signs, that can have negative effects on our life path, destroy relationships with others and pull us further into ourselves. We become trapped within the parameters that we set and can't find a way to get out. Trapped within our own selves.

For a while I was that person. I had destroyed relationships with friends and family. I had built a never ending wall of steel, dug an incredibly deep hole, moved further into my own abyss and infiltrated my mind with constant bad thoughts 24/7.

I had woken-up mid-morning on a hot November day last year and continued my usual routine. I had set myself up for the day in the right way feeling ok about life, excited for Christmas and travel plans in the new year. However, by lunch time I felt tired 'when the clouds are forecasted to come in', so I napped.
Only to wake-up 3 hours later. By then the clouds had gone and sun shone.

The next day I had repeated the same routine, then the next day and the next day. I felt exhausted all the time and thought I was just the hot weather and the end of the year. By mid morning on a Thursday, I had hit cold hard gravel, the stones that I had collected over the years had turned into boulders and the trench that I had built was of thick gluggy mud.

I was officially 110% done with life, done with trying, done with the 'shit storm' and over the clouds. I was a walking empty box, my contents had drained and I was so exhausted that my head just could not get up off the pillow. 

I had hit rock bottom and was hanging on to just what I had, for as long as I could. I hated myself and my life. I wanted to change everything that I had become and who I was.

I told myself if I could just hang out till the beginning of 2018, then I can make a fresh start and re-invigorate my self and my life. Make new choices and banish the bad. Create new opportunities and avenues in which to exist.
As we all do in the new year, make new life decisions and life goals. Try new things and achieve that unachievable goal that we had set out to do that year before. Re define boundaries and move forward to a better future.

So I set new goals and defined new boundaries. I thought differently about the way that I live and the types of people who I want in my life (by the way, your life can be governed by the type of people who you keep, the doubters and the haters, it's amazing what can happen when you get rid of them from your life!). I opened myself up to spontaneity and accepted that what I have can be changed, and will change.

I would say that 40% of my life was filled with doubters, 50% trying to make sure that everyone around me was happy and 10% a slew of unhappy people who projected themselves on to you. Pie Graph that up and you get a pretty un-positive outlook on life.

The book that I owe 50% of my new outlook on life to is...

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**K by Mark Manson: unbelievable, really good a must read!!!

20% has been letting go of previous thoughts, feelings and emotions.

10% adding in spontaneous adventures into my everyday life.

Another, 10% devoting time each day to developing my own company, kicking career goals! Being a 'game changer'.

And another 10%, drowning out what other people say, think, feel and react (this has been the most helpful)

The pie chart is looking much better.

Also, if you are stuck or having difficultly deciphering the ever growing shit storm that might be your life, try pie charting the percentages of your life that you find difficult. Then, chart what things you want to happen or long to achieve to make your life better and move on.



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